War and Peace

Some of you have expressed concerns about a possible “war” situation in Cambodia (both Khmer and Thai soldiers are stationed around an ancient temple near the Thai border). For us, we are not yet concerned due to the current context.

National elections were held yesterday.

During times of national insecurity voters tend to keep with the current Government.

Cambodia was the initial aggressor with this current situation by banning Thai tourists from entering the temple.

“Peace talks” are scheduled over the next week.

Let’s just pray that the stunt doesn’t get out of hand…

Loving my neighbour

The big move hasn't happened yet but we have found another townhouse with a roof-top (thank you Jesus!). And it is only 3 doors down from our current place.

Being so close is an advantage in many ways (eg I can still walk the kids to school) but there is one disadvantage. The landlord there has been our neighbour for over two years.. and she doesn't particularly like me.

It all probably started months back.. the day I complained to her about the workers that I'd caught stealing our mangoes over the back fence, or maybe it was the day I caught her throwing her rubbish into our back yard. Even though each time I managed to keep my voice steady and calm, it was still what us Aussies would call "a dummy spit". I also discovered that words are particularly difficult to find when angry and trying to speak in a second language. So I didn't just act like a fool (displays of anger are inappropriate here), I sounded like one too.

Now, I continue to struggle with my language when speaking with her about house repairs etc, while she patronisingly tells me she should speak to Steve as his language is much better (grr).

Wounded pride aside, I wondered how this could all happen. In Australia, I rarely ever clash with people but in Cambodia there are times when I can't help but rub people the wrong way (while often being rubbed myself).

Sadly, I realise that my problem is with my heart - I'm a player. In Australia, I have learnt over many years how to play the games of communication but in Cambodia the rules of relationship are entirely different and will take many more years to learn. For example, "sweet talkers" are treated with mistrust, while "straight talkers" are just downright offensive.

Loving my landlord or neighbour today means that I actually need to love them with a love that will cover over a multitude of cross-cultural blunders, miscommunications and offenses. And to do that, I need Jesus.

Tales of woe (and blessing)

I had lunch with a friend today, "Bong" (meaning older sister). Bong is a gentle, quiet woman, but today she was more chatty than usual and I got her life story...

Bong's Mother is a widow which meant it was always going to be difficult to get her daughter married. However, Bong's Uncle and Aunty kindly arranged a marriage with their son. Even though he was in love with someone else, the son dutifully followed his parent's wishes and married his cousin.

Soon Bong was pregnant and gave birth to a little girl. She was delighted and tried to overlook her husband's frequent absences, but it wounded her heart deeply. The mistress who soon became his second wife was not pleased with the arrangement and started to cause trouble for Bong. In fear, she pleaded with her husband to leave her alone and stay with his other wife.

According to Cambodian Law, the first child belongs to the Father so Bong's husband wanted to take his daughter away. He offered Bong a car and house in exchange, but she refused and demanded to keep the child. He relented, so Bong and her daughter have since lived in a small room with Bong's mother. With only a Grade 7 education, Bong works hard to keep their bellies full and to send her daughter to school.

Every day, Bong carries her and her daughter's pushbikes downstairs while the neighbouring women openly mock her poverty and hurl insults at her singleness. And as she rides her bike to work, she often sees her husband driving by in the car with his new family. Bong's pain is made worse by her daughter's pain and humiliation.

Five years ago, Bong started to work in the home of a Dutch family. They helped her see her own inherent value and told her the Good News of Jesus. It was life-giving water to her soul and Bong became a Christian. Her life began to change... her neighbours began to insult her even more but she now had greater strength to ignore and even forgive their insults. She would read her Bible and tried to share with her family about her new faith. She prayed and prayed, and became a member of a local church.

Finally, her Mother and her daughter were both convinced of the reality of her faith and her God through the changes in her life. They both now attend church with Bong (who is delighted at their new birth). Her daughter is now studying English and Accounting at University and is showing much wisdom in refusing some early marriage proposals.

Whenever we eat lunch together, Bong always gives thanks for the food (her Khmer prayer language skills are far better than mine). As she prays, she always asks for blessings on our family without a hint of resentment for our comparative ease or comforts. Life is still tough for Bong but she has such a faith in her Husband who provides for her, materially, spiritually and emotionally. (I have much to learn from her.)

Through Bong's story, I am reminded of Jesus' words in Luke 6.

"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.
Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.
Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.
Rejoice in that day and leap for joy because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.

But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.
Woe to you who are well-fed now, for you will go hungry.
Woe to you who laugh now for you will mourn and weep.
Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets."

A quote that hit home this week

‘It is much easier to be an admirer of Jesus than a follower’. Soren Kierkegaard

My child, give me your heart

Since Princess turned 5 years old last month I’ve had this throbbing thought like an infected thumb. “It’s too late. She’s 5. It’s all over.”

Child development experts advise that much of a child’s character is formed over the first 5 years. So, my aim has been to somehow train each of my children for life by their 5th birthday.

But this past year has been huge with a new baby and settling back into life in Cambodia. My focus has slipped and now she is suddenly 5 full of ideas for mischief and fun.

She climbs the back fence to pick unripe fruit, sits on a papaya to make her brother laugh, tells naughty “bottom” jokes (also for laughs), teases her brothers mercilessly and loves nothing more than to dance in the rain or make up beautiful songs. She is a regular Maria von Trapp, while I play the part of the exasperated Mother Superior!

But, only three months ago my Mother came to Cambodia for a much anticipated visit. She had made some lifestyle changes and looked more youthful, healthy and alive than she has for years. (At 60, she was even able to demonstrate how to use the jump ropes that she had bought for the children).

My Mother has inspired me to eat better and exercise more and I have been feeling all the better for it. Her example was powerful and my response gave me hope for my own daughter. If I can be influenced by my Mother's example at 34, then maybe (just maybe) it is not too late for my beautiful 5 year old Princess.

“My (child), give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways”. Proverbs 23:26

Now I just have to be a GOOD example...

Dear Diary

Friday was a very enjoyable day.

This doesn't mean that it was without conflict, frustration, moods and some spectacularly un-enlightened parenting moments. But it was great for a mid-school-holiday day.

Moments I want to remember include:

* all three kids sitting at the dining table doing "school work" - Velociraptor was working on sentences, Princess was learning to write numbers, Lion Cub was drawing with baby-pens. It lasted only half an hour but it was an incredibly proud moment for this "I will never homeschool" Mum.

* writing letters to family up on the rooftop while the children played "hide-and-seek" - even Lion Cub took turns counting - "ba, oo, six, eight".

* getting a day time sleep as well as a quiet moment to sort clutter in anticipation of our up-coming move

* planning a "welcome back" mess with the kids (heh, heh)

* after dinner, going out onto the street during a heavy downpour. While Steve and Lion Cub watched on, Princess danced in the street, Velociraptor drank rain water from a cup and I stood under the down pipe.

At the end of it all, Princess gushed, "That was the best night of my life!". Yes, it was a good day.

Sunday Church

While I enjoy attending Khmer church (particularly for the music and expanding my language), it has just not worked with kids. For them, the services are long and unintelligible so they quickly become fidgety and difficult. I can persevere armed with food, colouring books and a well-chosen toy but it’s just not worth it. I’d much rather the congregation focus on the message than my children’s antics.

So, I have been attending a small English-speaking church with the children while Steve continued at a Khmer church. However, being a single Mum for a morning means that I am always too busy and distracted to either connect or contribute. Without fail, I run off early to get Lion Cub to bed, sometimes even before the sermon begins.

Like many parents, my primary reasons for attending church were so that my children could “go to Sunday school”, connect with other Christian children and develop a life-long habit of church going. But I am coming to realise how ridiculous these aims are for my family.

What “Sunday School” could be better than Steve and I sharing our own faith and reliance on God in the every day, teaching them God’s values and character through loving discipline / discipling, and keeping night time routines that include bible stories, prayer and worship?

And, why do they need another opportunity to develop Christian friends when they already attend a Christian school for misso kids?

And finally, do I really want my children to be church-goers out of HABIT??

The church that I would rather my children see on a Sunday is one where they have an opportunity to develop their faith in action by reaching out to others – what some call a missional church. I have no idea what that might look like for me and my young family, but I am excited to finally be thinking outside of the box.

Democracy - third world style

National elections are being held on July 27.

Strategies for winning the election have included charging opposition members with defamation, and throwing parties where attendees receive a “gift” of 20,000 riel (ie US$5). Some opposition candidates and even voters have been physically threatened or attacked (although it has been far milder than any previous elections where there were a number of fatal “accidents”).

My personal favourite is the convoy of trucks, tuk tuks or motorbikes (depending on party affluence / influence) decorated with flags and ridden by “party faithfuls” wearing printed shirts and caps while a loud speaker blasts out rhetorical messages, slogans and even music into the streets.

Although the current Government is expected to retain power, our team leader advised us to stock up on canned goods, medicines, water and batteries. I honestly felt silly about it… until I heard of a Khmer lady who has purchased an extra 5kgs of rice and prepared 30 salted duck eggs in case of an emergency.

All this sounds entirely absurd to Australian ears, but this is just normal here… a different kind of normal.

Safe as houses

The Bible has been hammering me in my morning devotions as I continue reading through the early chapters of Matthew. Jesus taught clear as day “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal (or world market crashes devalue)” Matt 6:19 (with a little extra).

In the following chapter, Jesus pointed out that the person who heard His teaching but didn’t put it into practice was like a fool who built his house on sand only to have it flattened by the first storm that came along. Yet, to follow and obey His teaching would be like building your house on a rock that could withstand the harshest storm.

Only a fool would put their security in investments that can be lost in a blink rather than the son of God who has the power to determine eternity.

What a short-sighted FOOL I am... willing to sacrifice my soul for the hope of a comfy retirement!