I had a good chuckle the other day as I returned downstairs from hanging clothes on the roof top. Below me, our landlord’s 40-plus son (who also lives with their house with the entire extended family) was lounging back on the concrete outdoor setting. His arms were spread across the backs of the curved bench and his legs extended across the round table so that his pot-belly was nestled comfortably in between. With a beer close at hand and his teenage son laboriously digging around a leaking water pipe, he had the smile of a satisfied man.
The teenage son was in the process of repaying a lifelong debt to his father for the gift of his own life. It is such a strong cultural value that there is a Khmer proverb that warns a child “Don’t trust a mother that says there is no debt”. There is always a debt. It is through this debt that parents are obeyed, revered and then cared for in their old age. And in most cases, it works (no nursing homes here!).
Now as a mother of three, I can more clearly see the immensity of this gift of life and love given to each child and I can only conclude that the Khmer, like other Asian cultures, have got it right.
With recent visits by my in-laws and my Mum, I am reminded that my own tendency is to rely on my parents and in-laws for baby sitting, managing our finances and their handy skills. They even cross the seas to maintain a relationship with us and their grandchildren! All this they lovingly do without a hint of the huge debt I owe.
Next time, I need to take more seriously the command to “honour your father and your mother” and have a beer / wine chilled and myself readied to serve. However, I think that my “taut and terrific” Mum needs to work harder on developing a pot-belly in order to gain the full effect of that satisfied smile.
