This week my two eldest children, Velociraptor and Princess, started school with thousands of others around Queensland. Velociraptor was particularly keen to get into it – for him the extended holidays were like standing for hours at the starting blocks, waiting for the race to begin.
But now the big day had arrived, I was getting nervous for him. It’s not easy starting a new school, particularly in Grade 4 where everyone else already has a history and friendships.
So, I wrote a small note to accompany their water bottles, fruit and oat-bread sandwiches, reminding them that I loved them and I was praying for them. Before slipping the notes into their lunch boxes, I hesitated momentarily – what if this good-intentioned act of love was social suicide for a Grade 4 boy?
As expected, the first day wasn’t easy, especially for Velociraptor. Apparently the work was too easy and the teacher joked around too much. But we soon discovered the real reason – some boys had refused to let him join their game of soccer over the lunch break. Ouch. We were relieved that Princess seemed ok with her Grade 2 class… until she saw some photos of Cambodia and crumbled into tears.
I must confess that it’s times like these that I complain to God that this journey is just too much for my kids. It’s not fair that they must keep crossing cultures and continents, saying hellos and goodbyes, trying hard to fit into a place from where they will be uprooted sometime in the future.
Yet, God is good. He gently reminds me that He is worthy and He is near. Anything that occurs on this journey is for our good and His glory for only through struggles will we grow. Even the heartache for my children leads me to pray and be more intentional as a Mum.
I quietly asked Velociraptor if he got my note in the lunchbox. His frown turned to a grateful smile. “Yes Mum. I really needed it”.
I prayed even more earnestly that night for my kids, determined to trust Jesus and release them to His care. The next day, as we raced out the door, Velociraptor asked for the note again, anticipating the need for comfort on another difficult day. I was glad to be able to pat the lunch box and say “I’ve already written another one.” (When Grandma heard about the notes, she wrote one for the next day as well!).
When he arrived home that afternoon, I got the thumbs up. Some kids had let him join in on their game of soccer. “The note was still nice, but I didn’t need it so much today”.
Thank you Jesus. You are near.. and you are worthy.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Tips for a successful re-entry
I’m no master at re-entry and this time I was far too preoccupied to read any books on it. So there have been a few shocks to the system… and I thought I should share from my experiences hoping someone might learn from them (even if I don’t!).
1. Leave well.
In 2007 when we last left Cambodia for home assignment, Steve worked until the day before we left and I was 7 months pregnant. Talk about stress!! This time, Steve had a couple of weeks off before we left and was a huge help in getting odd jobs done. Because of it, I was able to say goodbyes properly and leave with a sense that most things are in order (it didn’t stop me from forgetting my camera battery recharger though!).
2. Book in holidays and guard them jealously.
We should have learnt this last time, but again we have not had a break, hitting the ground running. While Steve has been attacking the house fix-it jobs, I have been out every day visiting my wonderful family and friends, dragging along the kids to visit people who are virtual strangers to them like “Mummo’s sister’s daughter … and her children” or “the lady who gave us the beautiful clothes” (she’s also one of Mummy’s cousins). While I have loved it, this week I hit the wall. There is still so much to do in setting up house, school is just around the corner and deputation looms ahead next month. There are so many more people I want to connect with, yet I need a break – a chance to just “be”. NOW!
3. Come as a learner.
Towards the end of last year, I was getting weary of being a learner within the Khmer culture (surely I should “get it” by the end of five and a half years!!), but I am discovering that I must also re-learn how to operate here in Australia. We all have our moments when we are stumped and need to ask for help. For me, it was the extreme range of milk of the supermarket. I got on the phone and was told to “just get the cheapest”. It got me through and hopefully one day I’ll work out a better decision making strategy.
4. Expect to haemorrhage money.
I was told this before heading back to Australia and it has reduced the shock considerably. I have even been pleasantly surprised when a swim at the local pool was only a third of the exorbitant entry fee I had been expecting. Besides, the income is so much greater than we have previously received while in Cambodia that it almost feels like we are swimming in money. Almost.
5. Enjoy.
There are so many aspects of life here to enjoy that don’t cost a lot of money – playing in grassy back-yards, running on the bike tracks along the creek, catching clean and reliable public transport, experiencing art galleries and museums, listening to the quietness of night. Soak it in… because the locals don’t seem to notice it.
6. Remember that not everyone may be enjoying it.
Yes. Our kids are missing Cambodia despite our seemingly idyllic existence. They are missing friends, foods and their beds… home. I think I need to give them more space to talk about it and grieve, rather than rushing them off to the next event.
7. Guard your heart.
Amongst the joys and wonders of being here, it is easy to get sucked into the consumer culture. My weakness is real estate and I have forbidden myself to read the local newspapers because of it. Nevertheless, this week I found myself reviewing the real estate section of the local rag and dreaming of purchasing an investment home where the rental income would go to missions (after I had magically paid it off, of course). The pull was strong, setting off warning bells within me. I need to tread carefully and guard my heart, committing my way to Jesus… not the way that seems good to me. Contentment is more precious than gold and needs to be guarded fiercely.
8. Love first.
My last tip comes from the cruel teacher of experience. Being loving is more important than being right. Don’t open your big mouth and discuss politics, impending environmental disaster or economics without an understanding of your “audience”. I blabbed on my way home from the airport and hurt someone I love most. I wish I’d humbly stepped down off my hobby horse and asked her more questions first. But it is a lesson I will carry throughout the year and hopefully be a far more effective advocate of the poor than I might otherwise have been.
Any list of tips this long should make it to 10. Anyone have any suggestions from their experience???
1. Leave well.
In 2007 when we last left Cambodia for home assignment, Steve worked until the day before we left and I was 7 months pregnant. Talk about stress!! This time, Steve had a couple of weeks off before we left and was a huge help in getting odd jobs done. Because of it, I was able to say goodbyes properly and leave with a sense that most things are in order (it didn’t stop me from forgetting my camera battery recharger though!).
2. Book in holidays and guard them jealously.
We should have learnt this last time, but again we have not had a break, hitting the ground running. While Steve has been attacking the house fix-it jobs, I have been out every day visiting my wonderful family and friends, dragging along the kids to visit people who are virtual strangers to them like “Mummo’s sister’s daughter … and her children” or “the lady who gave us the beautiful clothes” (she’s also one of Mummy’s cousins). While I have loved it, this week I hit the wall. There is still so much to do in setting up house, school is just around the corner and deputation looms ahead next month. There are so many more people I want to connect with, yet I need a break – a chance to just “be”. NOW!
3. Come as a learner.
Towards the end of last year, I was getting weary of being a learner within the Khmer culture (surely I should “get it” by the end of five and a half years!!), but I am discovering that I must also re-learn how to operate here in Australia. We all have our moments when we are stumped and need to ask for help. For me, it was the extreme range of milk of the supermarket. I got on the phone and was told to “just get the cheapest”. It got me through and hopefully one day I’ll work out a better decision making strategy.
4. Expect to haemorrhage money.
I was told this before heading back to Australia and it has reduced the shock considerably. I have even been pleasantly surprised when a swim at the local pool was only a third of the exorbitant entry fee I had been expecting. Besides, the income is so much greater than we have previously received while in Cambodia that it almost feels like we are swimming in money. Almost.
5. Enjoy.
There are so many aspects of life here to enjoy that don’t cost a lot of money – playing in grassy back-yards, running on the bike tracks along the creek, catching clean and reliable public transport, experiencing art galleries and museums, listening to the quietness of night. Soak it in… because the locals don’t seem to notice it.
6. Remember that not everyone may be enjoying it.
Yes. Our kids are missing Cambodia despite our seemingly idyllic existence. They are missing friends, foods and their beds… home. I think I need to give them more space to talk about it and grieve, rather than rushing them off to the next event.
7. Guard your heart.
Amongst the joys and wonders of being here, it is easy to get sucked into the consumer culture. My weakness is real estate and I have forbidden myself to read the local newspapers because of it. Nevertheless, this week I found myself reviewing the real estate section of the local rag and dreaming of purchasing an investment home where the rental income would go to missions (after I had magically paid it off, of course). The pull was strong, setting off warning bells within me. I need to tread carefully and guard my heart, committing my way to Jesus… not the way that seems good to me. Contentment is more precious than gold and needs to be guarded fiercely.
8. Love first.
My last tip comes from the cruel teacher of experience. Being loving is more important than being right. Don’t open your big mouth and discuss politics, impending environmental disaster or economics without an understanding of your “audience”. I blabbed on my way home from the airport and hurt someone I love most. I wish I’d humbly stepped down off my hobby horse and asked her more questions first. But it is a lesson I will carry throughout the year and hopefully be a far more effective advocate of the poor than I might otherwise have been.
Any list of tips this long should make it to 10. Anyone have any suggestions from their experience???
Surviving a double life.
Living in Cambodia and Australia, I have two lives. As I leave a country, I seem to pack away that life amongst the books and paints and toys we hope to return to one day. Not only that, I leave behind my friends and their lives and love. I am terrible at communicating across the countries despite the ease of email and skype. It’s like my head and heart is too full with life around me that I just can’t make the jump to really connect.
But then returning to our house in Australia means that I need to rummage through the stuff for my former life here and when found, dust it off and try it on for size (hoping desperately that it still fits with a couple of alterations). I am fortunate to have friends and family that are happy to pick up where we left off. Perhaps they too have trouble connecting across the sea.
To date, one of my main forms of connecting with friends in Australia has been my blog. Now, I am here again, I think a fundamental shift is needed. I will now also be writing to my friends in Cambodia who will be undoubtedly neglected while I am away. They’ve been warned, but I’m not sure if they believe it.
My motto? One life at a time..
But then returning to our house in Australia means that I need to rummage through the stuff for my former life here and when found, dust it off and try it on for size (hoping desperately that it still fits with a couple of alterations). I am fortunate to have friends and family that are happy to pick up where we left off. Perhaps they too have trouble connecting across the sea.
To date, one of my main forms of connecting with friends in Australia has been my blog. Now, I am here again, I think a fundamental shift is needed. I will now also be writing to my friends in Cambodia who will be undoubtedly neglected while I am away. They’ve been warned, but I’m not sure if they believe it.
My motto? One life at a time..
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