I’d bought the dried fish out of pity. He’d been roaming the streets, eager to sell from the basket on the back of his cranky old motorbike. His teenaged country-bumpkin enthusiasm was being ignored by others, so I relented and purchased that fish that I knew I’d probably give away (it’s not a favourite of mine).
His response shocked me for days. He lowered his voice, put his fingers in the universal sign for sex and said he’d always wanted to “know” a foreigner. Despite his obvious gesturing, it took three times for the unusual request to register in my brain. I then went into autopilot – a smile, a shake of the head, a “no, that’s not polite”, and a quick retreat. My pity didn’t extend that far.
It’s widely thought in Cambodia (and many other parts of the world) that Western women are loose. I guess it’s our largely inappropriate dress habits where flesh reigns (particularly amongst the tourists unaccustomed to the heat of Cambodia). And another foreign import, pornography.
Magazines, tv, internet – we’ve got it all in Cambodia and it is highly accessible. You only need to go down the street to one of the local coffee houses at the right time of day to catch your dose of white flesh (or any colour really) on tv.
My guess is that I was the first real-live foreign woman that my fish-seller had met off screen. He was flabbergasted that I could speak Khmer and was keen to make the most of the opportunity before him.
But this incident was not allowed to fester into self-righteous indignation (a particularly revolting evil). With God’s perfect timing, the very next Sunday I heard an excellent sermon by a fellow team member, Rolf Lepelaar of CMS Australia, on the topic of pornography.
In Matthew 5:27-29, Jesus taught “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.”
Obviously, looking at a woman lustfully is nothing new, but this past-time has flourished and grown by some estimates into the seventh largest industry in America – larger than Microsoft, Google, ebay, Amazon, Yahoo and Apple combined. Its invasion into the heart of society is further evident in the statistic by Sex Tracker, an adult search engine, which reports that 70% of pornography is viewed between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m – that is during prime working hours.
And good Christian, don’t pretend we are not a participant in this. Rolf had some stats for us too.
One survey found that 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women are addicted to porn. One pastor did not believe the results so he surveyed the men in his congregation. 60% had visited a pornographic website in the past year.
And leaders seem no better. One counsellor for a well-known mission agency in Europe stated that 60-70% of the missionaries in that mission agency are addicted to pornography (could this be due to greater isolation and less accountability?). Rick Warren did a survey in the USA of 6,000 pastors, and 30% said they had visited a pornographic website in the past 30 days.
Obviously there are some pretty good excuses going on amongst us that suggest we don’t see it as that bad after all. But these justifications seem kind of weak if Jesus was saying it is better to pluck your eyes out rather than participate.
And just one note on that - Jesus was obviously not advocating self-mutilation in order to enter heaven (through Him is the ONLY way). Instead, He was highlighting how drastically we need to address this seemingly harmless sin – it puts our very soul in harm’s way.
I appreciated Rolf’s thoughts on the impact of pornography on a marriage as an example of the damage it does. God’s design for sex within marriage draws us out of ourselves towards our spouse, to the person that we have promised to exclusively devote ourselves for life. It is a mutual giving of self.
With pornography, a spouse focuses inwards on their own arousal and gratification without needing to fulfil any responsibility, expectation or demand. The unblinking faces of strangers are not disgusted by body odour nor are they angry that he stayed out late after work. Nor will they respect him or show any love, warmth or desire. They provide no companionship or joy.
I am so sorry if my fishy friend has been exposed to such a relationship-killing, soul-destroying foreign import that caused him to proposition this foreigner. To know Jesus would bring him much more life.
As it does for all of us.
