Mirror, mirror...

Every time I write a blog entry, within days, hours and even minutes, I am shown to be a hypocrite. Since writing my blog, I have yelled at fellow motorists (Oct 07), run off to the new shopping mall during a power-cut (Apr 08) and just didn’t take a quiet time for days or weeks (Feb 08).

Slowly, I am discovering that my blog is a kind of mirror. It shows me my true self amongst all my lofty ideals. And it’s often not pretty.

It happened again last week, when I caught yet another labourer from next door’s building site helping himself to our fruit trees.

It’s not that I even like the fruit that he was hoping to snack on (nor can I ever remember its name). I had just had enough of their “pick as you please” activities, particularly from our now-bare mango trees. I had caught a couple of them but my cross words had little effect which made me even madder!

So last week, when I saw a young man jump the fence, I pounced. “What are you doing?”

“Can I pick some fruit?” I was taken aback that he actually asked.

“Um, er. Sure. Just pick me some too.” And I went to get two bags, pleased with my clever plan.

Unfortunately, the tree was almost empty so he dutifully filled my bag (eating a couple in the process) and left it on my wall while his own bag hung empty on a branch.

Realising he was a good kid after all, I raced out and told him to take the bag. He refused and jumped over the wall… in shame and without any fruit.

I was left with a bag of fruit I don’t like and a strange feeling that I had somehow yet again got it all wrong.

It’s not like I didn’t have any warning – lately I have been stuck in Amos with his prophesies against those who oppress the poor and crush the needy. (I particularly like chapter 4 verse 1 where he calls the women “cows”).

It’s just that I’m not so good at listening above my bovine demands for respect of property rights. It seems that I would rather crush the dignity of an under-paid hungry youth than share fruit that is inedible to me. (The societal mindset "it's only wrong if you get caught" meant that it was my actions that made him a thief.)

Again, my handy blog mirror also shows me that while I may be concerned for the poor in the current economic / food crisis, I’m having trouble actually living it. Forgive me, Lord.