On being a Mum

I am a Mum. It is my current role, job, ministry, burden and profession. I’ve only got one chance at it and I want to do it well.

So, like any serious worker, I am intentional about professional development. Over the last six years this has included reading numerous parenting books, seeking God for wisdom, strength and the occasional miracle, and asking lots of questions of those who have gone before me. In particular, I target women who are a couple of steps ahead of me and grill them to determine the secrets of their success.

It happened again the other day at the school athletics carnival. We were sitting on a mat in the shade of gum trees (yep, another Australian export). The other Mum had an extra five years of experience over me. It started innocently enough. “How are you? How’s your work? How are the kids going?” The general chit chat.

Gently I pressed further. “Are the kids happy here in Cambodia?”

Her yes only encouraged me to push harder. “Why?” She openly shared about different reasons and I stored each new idea away as something to ponder later.

I then moved to her work in Child Protection (she’s a gold mine, I tell you), before she looked at me and interrupted the flow of the conversation.

“You always do this to me, you know”. Whoops.. Sprung!

“Really?” I faked. I joked it off, “Ah, that’s why you avoid me.” I wondered momentarily if she was going to charge me for her time…

Then we were back into it. Addressing abuses of children’s rights in Cambodia. Policies. Training insights.

“Most people, particularly Christians, think of child abusers as in some other category separate from themselves. But I begin the training stating that we are all child abuses – the Khmer seem to understand that.”

It then got personal. “What makes you a child abuser, Lisa?”

She got me. I knew exactly what she meant. I try hard as a Mum, but when I am tired, busy or emotionally just-not-up-to-it, I charge over the thin line from “training my children in the way they should go” to abuse. But I said nothing, only nodded, digesting this new thought.

She continued. “We then look at managing the stressors”. Yes. Reading books, grilling experts or trying harder is sometimes just not good enough. I need to cut down the stressors – don’t over commit outside the home, look after myself, eat well, sleep and take time work on each relationship including my marriage.

A casualty from the sports day cut short our conversation. We were heading home to tend the wounds when she called out to me, “It’s an important job, Lisa. Don’t underestimate how important.”

Thanks for the reminder. Thanks for everything. The cheque is in the mail...