Cast your bread

On Sunday afternoons, we attend a little home church with another Australian family who live around the corner. At around 3pm they set up the laptop and the adults listen to a sermon while the children play in the next room. Last week the church grew by 50% when a new family from the UK joined in.

Last week we finished a series on Ecclesiastes where the ongoing theme has been gift (being gifted with the life we have) rather than gain (trying to achieve). With this perspective, the verses about the meaninglessness (or temporary nature) of life are no longer depressive but freeing. When everything we have is viewed as a gift (time, possessions, relationships, grace), we are able to stop chasing the wind and live with contentment and generosity with these gifts we have received.

The final sermon focused on Ecclesiastes 11. Here are the first two verses from the NKJ version which struck me. “Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days. Give a serving to seven, and also to eight, for you do not know what evil will be on the earth.”

According to a number of commentators, casting bread is thought to be a symbol of being generous with what you have because it will return to you. Give widely because (as the CEV version stated) “you never know when disaster will strike”.

This flies in the face of conventional wisdom which encourages us to save for the rainy day (check out the NIV translation for a typical modernised view on how to manage our money). However, in such uncertain times, with floods and earthquakes, tsunamis and cyclones, we are encouraged to be generous which, according to the Message, is a high yield investment.

For those with not much to give, the preacher encouraged generosity of spirit – extending grace to someone who has done you wrong, being generous with your time, slowing down and being wholly present with whoever you are with, and view each day as on opportunity to bless rather than a compulsion to achieve.

But I think that most of us do have money to share. For us, the message is particularly timely as we are currently making financial decisions regarding our abundance.

Jesus, please give us the courage to give while we can because times are uncertain. After all, it is a gift not something we have achieved.

Dried fish and white flesh

I’d bought the dried fish out of pity. He’d been roaming the streets, eager to sell from the basket on the back of his cranky old motorbike. His teenaged country-bumpkin enthusiasm was being ignored by others, so I relented and purchased that fish that I knew I’d probably give away (it’s not a favourite of mine).

His response shocked me for days. He lowered his voice, put his fingers in the universal sign for sex and said he’d always wanted to “know” a foreigner. Despite his obvious gesturing, it took three times for the unusual request to register in my brain. I then went into autopilot – a smile, a shake of the head, a “no, that’s not polite”, and a quick retreat. My pity didn’t extend that far.

It’s widely thought in Cambodia (and many other parts of the world) that Western women are loose. I guess it’s our largely inappropriate dress habits where flesh reigns (particularly amongst the tourists unaccustomed to the heat of Cambodia). And another foreign import, pornography.

Magazines, tv, internet – we’ve got it all in Cambodia and it is highly accessible. You only need to go down the street to one of the local coffee houses at the right time of day to catch your dose of white flesh (or any colour really) on tv.

My guess is that I was the first real-live foreign woman that my fish-seller had met off screen. He was flabbergasted that I could speak Khmer and was keen to make the most of the opportunity before him.

But this incident was not allowed to fester into self-righteous indignation (a particularly revolting evil). With God’s perfect timing, the very next Sunday I heard an excellent sermon by a fellow team member, Rolf Lepelaar of CMS Australia, on the topic of pornography.

In Matthew 5:27-29, Jesus taught “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.”

Obviously, looking at a woman lustfully is nothing new, but this past-time has flourished and grown by some estimates into the seventh largest industry in America – larger than Microsoft, Google, ebay, Amazon, Yahoo and Apple combined. Its invasion into the heart of society is further evident in the statistic by Sex Tracker, an adult search engine, which reports that 70% of pornography is viewed between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m – that is during prime working hours.

And good Christian, don’t pretend we are not a participant in this. Rolf had some stats for us too.

One survey found that 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women are addicted to porn. One pastor did not believe the results so he surveyed the men in his congregation. 60% had visited a pornographic website in the past year.

And leaders seem no better. One counsellor for a well-known mission agency in Europe stated that 60-70% of the missionaries in that mission agency are addicted to pornography (could this be due to greater isolation and less accountability?). Rick Warren did a survey in the USA of 6,000 pastors, and 30% said they had visited a pornographic website in the past 30 days.

Obviously there are some pretty good excuses going on amongst us that suggest we don’t see it as that bad after all. But these justifications seem kind of weak if Jesus was saying it is better to pluck your eyes out rather than participate.

And just one note on that - Jesus was obviously not advocating self-mutilation in order to enter heaven (through Him is the ONLY way). Instead, He was highlighting how drastically we need to address this seemingly harmless sin – it puts our very soul in harm’s way.

I appreciated Rolf’s thoughts on the impact of pornography on a marriage as an example of the damage it does. God’s design for sex within marriage draws us out of ourselves towards our spouse, to the person that we have promised to exclusively devote ourselves for life. It is a mutual giving of self.

With pornography, a spouse focuses inwards on their own arousal and gratification without needing to fulfil any responsibility, expectation or demand. The unblinking faces of strangers are not disgusted by body odour nor are they angry that he stayed out late after work. Nor will they respect him or show any love, warmth or desire. They provide no companionship or joy.

I am so sorry if my fishy friend has been exposed to such a relationship-killing, soul-destroying foreign import that caused him to proposition this foreigner. To know Jesus would bring him much more life.

As it does for all of us.

The head's still gurling but in the meantime...

One role I've had for a little while already is the Language Facilitator for our team. This means I'm meant to assist the process of language and cultural learning particularly for those new to Cambodia. (You know, point them in the right direction, give them an encouraging pat on the back and let them go for it.)

This week I began my own formal language lessons at the Language Exchange Centre. LEC was started by an entrepreneurial Indonesian lady who realised that there were very few trained language teachers in Cambodia. I've found the teachers there excellent - proactive in preparing lessons and correcting errors.

This morning I received a lot of correction and it was clearly obvious to my teacher that while I can speak quickly (making many people believe I can speak well), I really have a limited vocab. The story I made up about the picture she held was pathetic and my listening comprehension skipped crucial points.

I ended the lesson demoralised. It certainly didn't help that my teacher had begun the lesson raving about Steve's ability in his lesson on Wednesday.

Ah, nothing like a good dose of empathy to make you better at your job.

Enjoying a gurgling head

It's no surprise (but still disappointing) that my quality control job at the cafe fell through. They really need someone there full-time which just wasn't practical. Ruth (the heart and soul of Bloom) asked me if I'd be willing to pass on my metabolism instead. As much as I love her, I might need to pray about that one...

But the good news is that my depression at losing such an ideal job passed quickly. The ideas and opportunities for serving here in Cambodia are just pouring out of my head. Some have been gurgling in there a while (like soap nuts and solar ovens), while others spring from conversations with others (income generation and Board memberships). There are also the long standing projects like fundraising for the school's building program and developing my current language consultant role. Or the far off dream of writing a biography or two on some seriously amazing people working here.

It seems that each new person I meet sparks a conversation that brings new ideas and another night of difficult sleep (is there a recurring theme here?). I was beginning to wonder about my sanity until I spoke with a good friend Pip who has the same dilemma. However, she sees each new idea as an opportunity to develop her strategic thinking skills, so writes up a project proposal and promptly files it, forgotten until the day someone asks, "have you ever thought of...?".

While wondering about the random overflow of exciting ideas, another friend wisely encouraged me to enjoy it. Sooner or later, I will focus and become stuck in a job. For now, I can just enjoy a gurgling head ... and get those project proposals down on paper.

A perfect fit

I've already mentioned how we are glad to be back in Cambodia.

After five and a half years here, like worn running shoes, we seem to fit here better than ever. The initial stressors of language, culture and climate have lessened with familiarity and growing competence. Dare I even say, we've developed a greater understanding of and empathy for Khmer people - valuing their strengths and recognising within ourselves their foibles.

Maybe a year away has brought fresh perspective and renewed enthusiasm.

Even so, it is a little shocking to think that when our much loved and admired friends, Barry and Fiona, leave at the end of the year, we will become our team's longest serving members.

Are we ready for that mantle?

Steve might be. This week one of the key physios here declared that Steve was "the Mahatma Gandhi of Cambodian Physiotherapy". He has no positional power but everyone looks up to him as "the man".

Me? Well, I'm concerned that they are seriously huge shoes to fill and I'm frankly a bit of a Cinderella.

But I'm pleased to say that it seems that a good friend has found me the "perfect job". It's a role which recognises my extensive experience and fits with my lifelong passion, critical analysis skills, discerning taste and ability to tell it how it is, utilitising my Khmer language skills.

Taste testing cakes at Bloom Cafe in Phnom Penh!!!! Baking starts Monday.

I just need to get into those running shoes before I have a different kind of problem with "fit".

The naughty suitcase and other misadventures

Again, our renegade suitcase containing all our clothes went missing on our trip from Bangkok to Phnom Penh. I'm not sure of the bright spot this time, but I'm glad it is finally here.

Other than that, we are settling into life in Cambodia quite well. The noise, smells, dust and mossies are just as expected. In remembering these things, I had forgotten how good it is to be back amongst like-minded people who inspire and challenge us. Friends have gone out of their way to make us feel welcome and the kids have settled back into school with ease. One teacher commented that the school now felt complete with the West-Newmans back.

Our youngest, Mr Happy, is probably faring the worst. His life has been turned upside-down. He remembers occasional things like the houses with the pointy noses (the local pagoda) but he has forgotten things like Mum and Dad's ability to speak in some strange language that he cannot understand (which he finds particularly annoying). He has also started at pre-school which he enjoys once he settles into it for the day (but finds scary at first).

The upshot of all this major change is that he is having bad dreams and is afraid of falling asleep at night. I've taken to sleeping by his side which brings him great comfort, and me very little.

At least our suitcase has now arrived and I have fresh clothes in the morning even if my eyelids are still a little shabby.

A rest under the Juniper Tree

2010 was an intense year. Living with a Masters student who received a Dean's Commendation for High Achievement, it could be nothing other than intense.

So were were looking forward to a brief 10 day holiday in Thailand before heading back to Cambodia for another three years. It could have been a week or two longer if we left Australia earlier but there was no way we were missing our first Christmas on Aussie soil for seven years.

After flying through Sydney to Bangkok, the plan was to catch a pre-arranged taxi / minivan from the airport to the Juniper Tree in Chiang Mai. This would save us hours of waiting at the airport in the middle of the night for another flight and we could sleep through half the trip until the sun rose.

Imagine our surprise when we awoke at dawn at the beach in Southern Thailand. The taxi driver had taken us to the wrong Juniper Tree hours in the opposite direction. The children were delighted to run, collect shells and build sandcastles while we problem solved. Fortunately, there was a room available for the night and we were able to rest up for a long taxi ride the following day.

The taxi company owner himself arrived before dawn in his own car. It was a sedan, not the mini-van we were expecting. After more discussion, we decided to take it anyway... hoping it would be faster at least.

Thirteen hours. Cramped in a Toyota Camry with one Thai driver and his Khmer magic markings, two weary parents, three active kids, four suitcases (we fortunately lost one in Sydney), five pieces of hand luggage and numerous fuel stops at places like Tankomart, we arrived in Chaing Mai with New Years crackers firing.

We were greeted by our lost luggage and a plate of sandwiches, relieved that the trip and 2010 was over. We survived both remarkably well and even enjoyed parts. Thank God.

Maybe there is a sermon illustration or some sage advice for travelling parents amongst this, but first I just need to rest a while under the Juniper Tree.